Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Screw Stocks! Uncle Sam Wants YOU to Buy Skinny Jeans


Fellow Gen-Yers:

I hope you realize the absolute power you hold to bring this great country from the depths of the recession we find ourselves in today.  Heck, if FDR actually had a generation of credit-card carrying, skinny-jean wearing, Starbucks sipping teenagers running around in the 1930s, I'm sure there would be far fewer conspiracy theorists telling me World War II, not the New Deal, brought us out of the Great Depression.

Truth be told, I think President Obama's stimulus bill is all wrong.  Instead of giving individuals tax breaks and doubling that amount for married couples, I think he should give everybody in Gen Y double the amount given to other generations since saving is irrelevant and neon deep-cut v-necks are sooooo the in thing for spring fashion.

This latest brainstrom comes from reading NBC Los Angeles' article Recession Proof: 10 Stores We Can't Live Without.  Although the list included the un-Californian (and un-Gen Y) Wal-Mart and BJs, five stores that target Gen Y made the list.  The Gen Y stores I noticed include:
  • Urban Outfitters
  • American Apparel
  • Game Stop
  • Aeropostale
  • Buckle
As some background, while the world shuddered in fear and most retailers posted a -6% sales decline in same-store sales over Christmas, American Apparel and Aeropostale posted 6-10% increases.  Stand tall, Gen Y!  Just don't do anything involving moving your legs; your skinny jeans may split.

Although the so-called "experts" attribute the stores' successes to their ability to develop "lifestyle brands", I really think they mean to say they successfully created "Gen Y brands."  Each of the stores I highlight from the list are truly for a Gen Y consumer.  I have yet to see my father order the Slim Taper skinny jeans I saw at American Apparel or his "Optimus Prime Says Stay in School" t-shirt I noticed at Urban Outfitters.  If he does, I'm moving out of the house.  For real this time.

Truly, it is the power of Gen Y that has made these companies so successful during the economic downturn.  Our amazing buying power in the face of global calamity, poverty, war, hunger, famine, and economic collapse will keep these brands strong.  Our continued affection from credit card companies means we won't be running out of free cash (with interest) anytime soon.  Oh, and don't forget we generally don't have mortgages, kids, 401(k) accounts worth 50% of what they were with retirement staring us in the eyeballs, or other nasty fixed expenses to worry about each month.  

All in all, the stores listed above will continue to be successful because Gen Y will continue to spend money there.  We don't have to worry about retirement...why would we?

Go forth and spend, Gen Y.  Screw buying one pair of neon pink, ambi-gender, slim taper skinny jeans; buy two.  Uncle Sam needs you.

1 comment:

Jenna said...

Oh American Apparel, you were made for me. And yet, not for my budget...

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